Oh no... it's my filthy cat?

OK, well somehow my cat, his name is batdawg, it was different when I first got him, but I recently changed his name and he is not quite used to it yet. Sometimes I call him "Everybody" instead, but this confuses him more and he just scratches my pant, but now he has become lodged inside my trousers (honestly I wasn't trying to seduce him!), what should I do? It's very uncomfortable and I need to be at work in half an hour, somehow I don't think that my new boss will be impressed with this new appendage. I need help NOW, RIGHT NOW! Please I feel so dirty!!